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I am the perfect parent are you ?

Now i know you read that title and thought here we go again another parent thinking they are the shit hot. But know its not that at all it taken me a long time to realise that in my daughters eyes yes i am the perfect parent.

When i was pregnant i had ideas of how motherhood would be, maternity leave full of coffees with friends, endless cute Kodak moments and a fitness regime that would rival Joe Wicks.

I soon realised that motherhood was none of this, although it is the best job i have ever done its wasn't all glitter and gold, days were long and sometimes lonely.

I did however make a group of mums friends which helped ease some of the bordem, yes bordem no one ever told me babies didn't do much. Groups really help with the missing social side of mother hood for both mum and baby.

In the first year or so i spent lots of time trying to be the mum i saw on social media, endless photo memories and keepsakes. Making sure i kept a log of everything we did, trying to keep up with other mums.

Comparing my little one to other babies and wondering why she didn't hit that certain milestone at the same time as another baby.

Advice on everything from breast/bottle feeding to our baby needs to cry to learn to fall asleep blah blah blah. I am all for advice but sometimes its just the way its delivered because it worked for one baby does not mean it will work for you.

Hormones were all over and i would sit there and listen while friends and family members would say "well i just put them down to cry and they were fine".

I even had the comments of " well they have done this or that for me" this is not a helpful comment it just makes mums feel like they are not good enough. When in fact we are, baby's have that safe bond with parents especially mums (this is when they are more fussy).

As the months went on hormones stabilised and myself was coming back to life. Something switched inside me and enough was enough, i came off some of the parenting groups which were so judgemental towards a mums decision to o anything be that bottle feed or cuddle to sleep.

If i had unhelpful advice i told them we as a family are doing it this way, i stopped comparing my little one to other babies. They will learn in their own time in their own way.

And finally i stopped thinking i had to be like all those Insta mums who only share the good moments. Parenthood is not a series of picture perfect moments, its messy stressful and some you just need an hour to yourself. And all this is perfectly normal so please share your bad moments let other mums know that you have them to.

This bring me onto the perfect parent part, i may not be the perfect parent that you or your little one need, but i am perfect for my little girl. So when you peek in on your little one tonight i want you to say or think " i am perfect for you little one".

They only know you they don't scroll through social media judging you or themselves so don't you either. When they look at you they see a parent and that is all they need your love and attention.

So if you do anything this week share a bad moment i want to see them, if little one is in tesco kicking off tell me about lets normalise the bad days. if your little is having a bad day then let them. We all have bad days so why can't babies and toddlers, this is not a sign of a bad parent this is normal.

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